Trying to keep your marriage together can easily make you lose hope. The spouse you’re married to doesn’t love you. They want a divorce or separation. Although your spouse has shown no signs of softening, you’re feeling a roller coaster emotionally. If you lose momentum or focus, this is completely normal. Many people may think that you need to walk away from your relationship, including family and friends. Before making that permanent decision, you ought to be aware of a few things.
Your spouse is also feeling hopeless.
Maybe their perspective is extremely negative. The actual decision that your spouse makes will most likely be based on the feelings they have. Emotions and feelings change very rapidly, and this is a problem. As time passed, hope faded, and feelings changed. Your spouse is unaware that their feelings can be changed again. As you do many things to alter your environment, you change your feelings based on your surroundings.
The person you are married to is trying to get you to give up because they are tired of fighting.
They intend to make this easy for yourself, so you may be tempted to quit getting some relief yourself. No matter whether you divorce or work it out, you will have a very difficult year. If you get divorced, you have to mourn all that was lost. To rebuild your finances, you must start over. The loss of your family unit may force you to share custody and comfort your children. You will have to get used to being alone again.
In contrast, you need to stay focused and continue fighting for your goal if you decide to remain. Trying to reconnect with your spouse makes you feel awkward and uncomfortable. The things your spouse is doing that hurts you must be dealt with in a calming manner. The situation does not improve immediately. It may seem like divorce is the easy solution, but it is not. There is no going back now. Instead, there is the journey of pain, loneliness, fear, and doubt.
Divorce is a very destructive event with many collateral damage effects.
Everyone in the family is affected, from our children to your future grandchildren, parents, in-laws, and friends. You can find many books and articles claiming that divorce isn’t as bad as you fear. Therapy professionals may minimize the damage, but more often than not, this is related to their situation. The end of the family is traumatizing, even for adult children. You are also affected psychologically.
Statistics can’t be overlooked. 50% of your first marriage will survive.
The success rate of a second marriage is only 25%. Third marriages are even rarer. With each attempt, it would seem logical to learn from our first mistake and increase the likelihood of success. The decision to be married is an emotional one, and our emotions and feelings change over time.
As a couple, you are more likely to be happy if you grow together. It is sometimes more difficult to find someone we can love than to learn to love someone we already are. Marriages last because of commitment rather than feelings. But, to save the marriage, one should at least try because many other people are also linked with this relationship.
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